This is an excerpt from a free, special guidebook, "The Ex Back Handbook" - 4 Steps To Starting Over With An Ex, written by world-renowned relationship coach and breakup expert Brad Browning.
STEP ONE
How To Identify Why Your Ex Broke Up With You
Your ex is hiding the truth from you.
Often times, in a feeble attempt to protect your feelings, your ex will say things like “it’s not you, it’s me” and “I think we just make better friends.” While these may sound like valid reasons, it’s often not the reason why your ex broke up with you.
In over 90% of my cases, the reason one person breaks up with another person is because they’ve experienced a loss of sexual attraction. Your ex won’t admit to this literally, and sometimes they won’t even realize they aren’t attracted to you anymore. So if I were to sum up this article in just one sentence, it would be this: the key to getting your ex back is to erase the image of the old you, and infuse sexual attraction into your brand new relationship with your ex.
But now you’re probably thinking, so what did I do to make my ex lose attraction? Is it because I’m physically unattractive? Chances are, your ex didn’t break up with you because he or she found you physically unattractive.
Again, in the vast majority of cases, attraction is lost due to several behavioral faux pas that stem from insecurity and a lack of confdence. And why am I telling you this? Because if you get your ex back, you simply can’t afford to keep behaving the same way otherwise you will end up losing your ex again. Regardless of whether you get your ex back or not, it’s important to learn how to develop good habits; your partner will be happier and you will be happier.
So before I get to step two, I’m going to list several Universally Unattractive characteristics that kill attraction, regardless if you are a man or a woman:
1. Being Too Controlling
I know it may made you feel uncomfortable when your ex wanted to hang out with multiple members of the opposite sex. It’s completely normal to have these feelings. However, telling your ex that he or she couldn’t enjoy the company of their friends is not only wrong, it kills sexual attraction. Instead, be more open to your partner hanging out with other people. There’s also nothing stopping you from doing the same. Just be comfortable in a relationship.
2. Being A Complete Pushover
Human beings are hardwired to be attracted to powerful individuals. In the Palaeolithic Era, aligning yourself with such individuals would increase your chances of survival. Humans evolved to assume these traits and be attracted to other humans that have these traits. If you’re conveying to your partner that you can stand up for yourself, then you will look much more attractive.
“All romantic relationships revolve around attraction, and the only way to save a relationship is by re-building sufficient levels of mutual attraction.”
3. Being Jealous
Again, feeling jealous is a natural human phenomena. I’m not saying that you should never feel jealous, because unfortunately, you can’t control these emotions. You can, however, keep these negative emotions in check. Swallow your pride. If you feel you’re getting jealous because your partner is getting all the attention at the party, don’t show it. Instead, be proud of your partner. Remember that your partner is a refection of you as well, so any chance you get to brag about your partner, you probably should.
